I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
