he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
