i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
