wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
