This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
