Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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