I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
