Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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