It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
