Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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