So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
