Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
