Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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