Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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