Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Please don't give away my fajitas
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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