just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
