Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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