i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
