i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
