I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
