Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
