Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
