I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
