If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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