1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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