they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
