He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
