she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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