She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
