did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
In America we eat man semen.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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