She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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