She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
