walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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