i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's blow job season.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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