i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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