if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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