forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Only a mothe r could love this liver
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Even my vagina gasped.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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