Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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