I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
