I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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