dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
