I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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