sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
