I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
