Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
