as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
