He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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