DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
