I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
