i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
