Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
