Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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