You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
