your thong is hanging out like whoa
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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